Makenzie was in the Dominican Republic on a humanitarian mission when my phone rang. “I love you dad and I can’t believe how much I miss little things. Things like sitting on the couch on Sunday and watching golf with you.” It’s funny how some of the things our kids say seem to be etched in our memories forever. This random statement she made 5 years ago is downloaded into my “hard drive” for good.

 I snuck this picture a couple weeks ago;  you, me, and that Olsen kid watching the PGA championship.

I’ve been holding that hand, (the one that now sports a wedding ring), for 22 years now. I hope to hold it now and again for many more. With the big day now here and gone, I’ve reflected a lot on some of the other experiences we’ve had along the way. 

I remember you dancing from the very start. Taylor was constantly choreographing for you and your friends

I remember you trying to do the same with your little brother Kaden. 

I remember your “freak outs” as they came to be known. Those times we thought surely your head would spin at any minute. 

I remember one freak out in particular where you told mom that you were going to, “cut her head off with a knife.” (Watch your back Jared)

I remember roller blades and broken front teeth

I remember constantly pushing you ever so slightly to quit dance and take up track and field or golf

I remember you sleeping between me and mom for what seemed like 10 years

I remember walking in your room late at night finding you reading your scriptures or kneeling in prayer

I remember the day I came to garland school and checked you and Taylor out of class just to hug you and tell you how much I loved you. You didn’t know that I was going away later that day, and wouldn’t be home for over a year. 

I remember my surprise when you finally went on a date.

I remember going for 5 mile runs  with you and loving every step

I remember delivering ‘Charlene’ to a young father in need. The joy on your face as we gave him the keys.

I remember driving around, listening to our favorite Hillsong tunes. Singing and feeling so much gratitude for the beautiful blessing of life

I remember taking you to the airport and letting go as you headed to the Mexico MTC. 

I remember sobbing in the kitchen that night as I washed the dishes and couldn’t stop replaying the image of you waving goodbye

I remember the second I saw your beautiful face when you came home

I remember a late night covert operation to deliver some cash to a struggling fugitive friend in need. As we drove away you said, “dad that was cool!”

I remember barking out of the blue and in diverse locations, “I love my family!” You always hit me back with a, “I love my daddy!”

I remember the beauty of your graceful performance in the celebration of the Brigham city temple

I remember the day you said, “Jared wants to take you to lunch sometime soon.” We both knew what that meant

I remember the night he asked, and you said yes. 

I remember listening to your prayers as a child. I’ve seen first hand the evolution of your relationship with God. It’s evident to me that you feel him working in your life and that you truly believe in prayer. 

I remember whenever I ask if you’re ok, you always answer, “yes, how about you dad?”
I remember the smile on your face when two little boys are looking for “Kiki”

So many memories that it’s not possible to share them all here. Most of them really good, some of them hard to think about. Each memory part of an experience. Those experiences, the good ones, and the rough ones, have shaped you into this person you now are. 

As I look back on my life I realize that the experiences that stretched me most, are actually the ones I look back on with the most gratitude. You will have many of these. That is just the way life is. But ultimately the Lord wants us to experience joy. Sometimes I think we confuse joy with ease, comfort, having what we think will bring us happiness. I didn’t experience true joy until I caught a vision of what joy really is. When my definition of joy lined up with Gods, my gratitude overflowed because I realized he had been pouring it out upon me all along. I just wasn’t recieving it because I was too distracted in my search for the artificial joys of this life. 

Some of my most life defining, joy filled experiences, came in the ugliest places you can imagine. It was then, that I realized the true greatness of God. He was much ‘bigger’ than I had ever imagined. Catching a small glimpse of his love for me and his ability to send ‘true joy’ to a sinner who was finally, desperately seeking him with all my heart taught me so much. My connection became reality. It saved me. 

Another special memory I have, is that first lunch ‘appointment’ I had with Jared at Mack’s drive in. As we both ate our food he eventually said, “you probably know why we are here. I love Makenzie and I hope to have your blessing in asking her to marry me.” I went on to ask him before extending my blessing, to share with me his vision of his top priorities with you as his bride. I specifically asked for 3. He sat back in his seat, a bit rattled I believe. After a few seconds of thought he leaned into the table and with a very confident humility said, “number one, and most important, is to get my family back to God.” He continued on with 2 more, but honestly I don’t remember what they were. He had me at number one! I told him I loved him and I’d be honored to have him as a son in law. 

Thank you Jared for providing me with another, ‘ I remember when’ moment. 

Oh yes, and one more. 

After Kenzie and Jared were officially married, we all stood outside the temple patiently waiting our turn to be summoned for pictures. The last one was a big group picture with everyone cheering as Makenzie and Jared kissed. Before the kiss he turned to me and said, “don’t watch this”. When the kissing picture was done, I jokingly approached him with clenched fists. He looked me in the eye and with a quiet confidence said,   “The fights over.” 

Your right Jared, the fight is over, you won, you got the girl. Just do me one solid if you could. Let me borrow her on Sunday afternoons every once in awhile for some golf with her old man. In fact if you want, you can join our group. I’ll make a little extra room on the couch.