Awhile back I shared on Facebook a not so good memory of my former life. It was basically a step by step guide on how to get successfully handcuffed and placed in the backseat of a cop car. By “successful” I mean surviving, not getting shot or choked or beaten. My successful handcuff experience wasn’t pleasant and lead to some extended time in jail, but I didn’t die. My ultimate belief is that if you cooperate you don’t die. By “cooperate” I mean do what you’re told. After about 7 hours of being on my Facebook page a total stranger who knows nothing about me suggested I research “white privilege.” Instead of responding with, “how about YOU research eat shit,” I just took my post down. Her virtue signaling from afar did a couple things. First it irritated me, but then it also bumped me into a bit of self reflection. So I wrote some stuff down.

I’m white. I’m not gay. I was born to affluent parents. I was born with a body that is whole and healthy. I was raised in Utah, in the USA, definitely not a “shithole” country. I was brought up surrounded by people who showed me the way to “succeed” in life on earth. Oh yea, I almost forgot, God gave me a pretty face.

All of the UNEARNED advantages listed above have made my life easier, not EASY by any means, but easier. In this blog I’ll refer to them as my personal human privileges. By privilege I mean anything that has been advantageous to me here on earth that I had absolutely nothing, nada, zero to do with. I didn’t “earn” this privilege, it came with me, they were my “factory options” installed by the manufacturer without me even knowing it or having anything to do with. Sit down and write down all the privilege you have in your life. Not the things you earned or worked for (those are called consequences or results), I’m talking about the stuff you get or got for doing absolutely nothing other than being born. If you’re a white, heterosexual, relatively healthy male, born in the USA and can’t think of any, stop reading now, you’re an idiot.

In spite of all the advantages I was given in life I still managed to shit the bed,,,,,bad. When I graduated from dental school my dad gave me some advice as he turned one of his practices over to me that I’ve never forgotten, he said, “you’re ticket is punched son, keep your nose clean and your life will be great.” Within a couple years my nose was so disgustingly dirty that even the great and powerful Dr. Tony Fauci couldn’t have came up with a cure. Judge Tom Wilmore had just the medicine for my snotty nose, prison. Thank you judge Wilmore for the greatest lesson, and opportunity for growth in my life.

Most of the men I met in jail and prison along the way weren’t near as privileged” as me. In fact I can’t think of one who was. Many of them were assigned by God to be born in a home with no love. Maybe Mom was on drugs, dad was dead or in prison or who the hell knows, but dad wasn’t home. Some had learning disabilities that many times came “factory installed”. They were all different colors. Some you could tell had zero chance of getting out and enjoying life like you and me do. One thing they all had in common, they hated cops, (but that’s someone else’s blog to write about), then In walks me. Have you heard the song, “one of these things is not like the others,” it played over and over in my head. In spite of all our differences these guys accepted me, sort of watched out for me, showed me the ropes. I remember a conversation with another inmate when I was down at A-WEST in Draper. I’m not sure how it came up, but I came to a realization and I shared it with him. I told him I felt I was the biggest loser in the whole block. He didn’t know what I meant. I explained to him, “I was born into a solid family, I was given a multitude of talents by my creator, I was shown a better way by family and the whole community I was surrounded by and yet here I am, sitting with all you guys in 23 hour lockdown. God gave me every opportunity to avoid all this pain but I just couldn’t keep my nose clean.”

Kirk Gardner, Jerry Chatterton, Darrell Gardner, grandpa Sam T. Evans, Pete Mcliveried, Uncle Sam T Evans, Roy Rasmussen, Bob Woodhead, Dallas Jackman, Guy Simmons, Bill Davis, Monte Elgin, Mike Madeo, Reid Goldsberry, Larry Findley, Darwin Harris, Dean Udy, Ray Hall, Gene Juber, Veran Smith, Chris Pella, Billy Jeppsen, Dennis Flynn, Marshall Brownstien, Mike Dishman, Peter Knudsen, Tom Wilmore, Paul Davis, Joe Pelaez, Darin Gardner, Dave Gardner, Mike Gardner.

That list took me about 10 minutes to come up with. If I wasn’t at work making my list between patients I could go on and on. These are a handful of the men who influenced my life. Men I could look to as examples of how to do life. They weren’t people I knew who lived in my phone or were friends with me on Facebook. These were men I spent time with, listened to, observed, received guidance from and sometimes got butt kickings from.

Privileged? Yes that’s me and it’s probably you too if you’re reading this.